This is a testimony from a trip I took in December of 2019. I’m not able to disclose the location of this trip or any identifiers of the person I met because it is considered a restricted access country. For everyone who supported me in prayer and financially, here is how God showed up on this trip.
Off we go…
The Beginning:
In January of 2019 I was at the Healing Rooms of Loveland, Colorado. During my visit, one of the volunteers got a word from the Lord for me. It was only the name of a country. She said, “I’m not sure if you’re supposed to go there or just pray for the country. Check that out with the Lord further and see what He shows you.” At the time, I just brushed it off. I had never had any interest or desire in visiting this country. It came out of left field and I wasn’t sure how to hold it. I prayed and asked God to reveal more to me about this country and any purpose I had concerning it. After that prayer, I mostly forgot about the word.
Eight months later:
I was having a conversation with my friend, whom I have been on short term mission trips with. She mentioned a trip later in the year and said I should go. I blew it off. I told her I didn’t have any interest in the location and I didn’t want to fundraise for another trip. She kept hounding me about it and questioning my reasons for not going. Exasperated, I told her “The only way I would go, is if I had a specific word from God.”
Instantaneously, I remembered the word I had gotten in January. The name of this country.
“Oh no…”, I said in shock as I stared at my friend. “I have a specific word from God. I have to go on this trip.”
That is the coolest “gotcha” moment of my life, so far…God giving a word eight months before I would need it! I love that moment and I love God being playful in His invitation to me.
I want to thank and bless everyone who supported my trip to this country. All of your belief in what God would do on this trip, all of the finances given and all of the prayer you surrounded me in. Each of you supported my opportunity to be obedient and bold. The spiritual oppression in this country is intense. I experienced the spiritual warfare each day I was there. Thank you for all your prayers.
This trip was difficult and nothing that I expected. I questioned the purpose of it daily. I felt unhelpful. I felt extremely restricted and I was constantly afraid I would make a mistake that would put others in danger of serious persecution. I filled a lot of my time with prayer over the country. I came against strongholds in prayer and asked the Holy Spirit to move through each small interaction I had with people. Still, I questioned and doubted. “Why am I here? I shouldn’t have come.”
It was our last day in country. I was relieved to be leaving soon and looking forward to having space to process everything I had experienced. During our last event with the local community, I remained present and watchful. There was still time for God to bring an opportunity.
A young person visiting the event began a conversation with me. They asked where I was from and why I was there. In caution, I lied and said I was here to help support some vocational opportunities in the area. We continued our conversation and then they asked, point blank “Are you a Christian?” I paused, shocked. I’d been so careful not to say something like that out loud during this trip. There is an expectation that everyone is being listened to and watched most of the time in this country. This truth is too important…I told them, “yes.” Their face lit up and they leaned over the small table, “Me too!” They began to tell me their testimony and I shared some of mine. I was sitting in the presence of a believer who I revered. They know God in ways I haven’t known yet…they risked their life when they chose God and every day since. I haven’t felt a violent reality like that. I want to. Someday I will. As we continued to talk, I had a realization.
Rewind to September, 3 months before the trip:
My friend, who was also going on the trip, shared a Holy Spirit vision she received. She saw both of us in a specific type of shop in this country, talking with someone from that country and praying over them. I held on to this vision as we looked forward to the trip.
Back to the conversation:
I looked at my new friend and fellow child of God. I told them I had something to share with them. I described the Holy Spirit vision three months prior. I smiled and said, “You are the person in that vision, from Our Father.” They started to cry. I did, too. This was an intricately orchestrated moment of God’s love that we were both sitting in. They began to tell me how earlier in January of this year, they had been wrestling with God and asking if He really loved them. They said this was an answer to that question. I sat back and took all of this in. As I see it, God asked someone from the other side of the world to show up for another person and embody the message that He sees them and loves them and hears them. How can we fathom His love for us as we sit in this moment? When God shows up in deafeningly intimate moments, all doubts turn to dust. As we sit in His glorious presence, I can’t help but laugh at our doubts as they blow away in the wind. To receive the invitation, to witness God showing His child how much He loves them, is such an extraordinary honor and blessing.
Please, continue to pray for this friend and fellow child of God. Pray that God will open doors for them and provide the resources needed to follow what He has put in their heart to do.
My Reflection:
As I’ve been contemplating this experience, I felt the famous line from the book of Esther coming up over and over.
For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father’s family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” – Esther 4:14 NIV (emphasis added by me)
I used to think about the “for such a time as this” moment as an earth shaking, massively climactic event. Now, I think it can appear as quiet as a whispered conversation and an illegal prayer with a new friend, Holy and ordained by Our Father. Who can say that Nations aren’t born out of that moment? Who can say that the edification of faith both of us gained in that moment doesn’t shake the unseen and fuel panic in the army of the enemy? Who can say that moment didn’t drastically shift the atmosphere on that block, in that city and in that country?
I believe it’s not for us of limited understanding and perspective to decide how “big” a given moment of obedience is in the Kingdom.
In addition to that contemplation, I have been meditating on the significance of God’s spoken word. Every word God speaks to us comes with the ability for that word to come to pass. This is an explanation I’ve heard Pastor Bill Johnson speak of multiple times. When God speaks a word, He has now given authorization for everything needed for that word to happen. His spoken word shatters the chains of impossibility. Bill Johnson compares a word of God to a seed. Everything the seed needs to grow and become a tree, is contained within it. All it needs is good soil to grow in.
May we carry every spoken word of God in our hearts, eternally precious and powerful. May our obedience release the Holy Spirit and bring the Kingdom of God everywhere our feet touch.
My hands are full, clutching to my chest all of the seeds He’s given me. I’m in awe and humbled as I think of all the impossibilities that are broken before me. I’m comforted knowing I will never walk this path alone. I’m eternally blessed by the treasure He’s given me every time He speaks.
Proclaiming Freedom 